“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Phil. 4:7
I used to wonder what that meant, and yearn for it. I didn’t know what it felt like, this peace that can only come from God. Sure, I’d known stillness and tranquility found in the time I spend in nature and quiet times by myself, but those aren’t quite the same as inner peace. I’ve prayed for a long time to experience what true peace really is. Amazingly, God answered my prayer through the dietetic internship application process.
This year is my 3rd time trying, and also happens to be the year when the younger girls in my fellowship who are also in nutrition have reached 4th year and are applying for the internships. In past years, when interview calls went out, I’d be insanely jealous and bitter towards my friends who had received interviews (and I did not), and could not be truly happy for them (just acted like it… y’know, the “Great…! Good for you……”. This year though, I prayed hard that God would give me peace about the whole process, because in the year since last applying, I’ve come to realize that it had become an idol.
The week the calls started coming out, one of them, whom I had mentored in her 1st year and am pretty close with, excitedly told me that she had received an interview invitation. In that moment, where previously, jealousy would flood in, incomprehensible peace flowed into me that I knew could only come from God. I was able to be truly, 100% happy for her, and sent her possible interview questions to help her prepare for it. I would never have done this in previous years, because that’s “helping the competition” (she had applied to 2 of the same places I had), but this amazing peace from God helped me quash those thoughts and recognize them as unloving and worldly.
He made me wait for a few days before I received a call from London Health Sciences for an interview. In previous years, I was a nervous wreck while waiting for these calls, but His peace just filled me the whole time. I have never experienced God’s peace before… and it truly is incomprehensible and amazing. Honestly it was kind of a cherry on top to get an interview, cuz I’ve been praying for a good few years to truly experience what Phil. 4:6-7 means. It stayed with me through the actual interview, and is still with me as I receive the last email, saying, “The internship Match Selection has been completed for this year. Unfortunately, you have not been offered a position.” Previous years, I’d plunge into a week-long funk after receiving that email. Not this year though.
I’ve come to realize that peace from God really just comes from being forced to place my whole trust in Him for my future. What a lesson it has been, spanning 2 years. From being unwilling to trust and not believing in His grace and goodness, to being filled with peace about my future and joy that He has taught me this lesson. I don’t know what He wants me to do, but I know that He is wise, all-knowing, and loves me, therefore this is all part of the plan for my life. Without an internship (which would have set my life’s course – for a while anyway), it just means that life will be that much more an adventure.
P.S. This is my 200th post! When I skim through my posts through the years, it’s awesome to see how God has worked in my life. Can’t wait to see what my 300th post will be like. PTL!