Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. – Prov. 3:5-7
These verses are ones that I’ve known and memorized since I was a child, to the point where it has lost true significance. I’ve been reading Proverbs to supplement my going through the Bible from start to finish again (at 1 Samuel currently), and when I first read this chapter, my eyes almost skipped over them, without my mind fully comprehending the words, because I just recited it in my head. Then, I read it over again, and suddenly, “do not lean on your own understanding” popped out at me. And so did “In all your ways acknowledge Him“, and also “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord“.
It was like I was reading these verses for the first time. Suddenly it hit me that I am not trusting in the Lord with all my heart, and that I am leaning on my own understanding, and that I am wise in my own eyes, all of this relating to the dietetic internship. Let me explain sentence by sentence:
“Trust in the Lord with all my heart” – honestly, I haven’t been, in regards to job & internship, as I’ve stated before in previous posts and conversations. Why? Because I’ve been “lean(ing) on (my) own understanding” of what the internship requires, i.e. nutrition-related experience, which I have been going after with all my volunteering work, which, in turn has made me “wise in (my) own eyes“. In my head, I have a better chance at the internship this year because of these volunteering experiences that have taught me a shwack of new skills. This has led me to not “acknowledge Him in all (my) ways“, because pridefully, I believed that I had found these things myself, which has blinded me into not trusting in the Lord and trusting in my own abilities instead.
How foolish I have been. Who is to say that just because I’ve gained more experience, that I am guaranteed an internship position? Secretly, I’ve been putting all my hopes into building a better resume, gaining better references, and forgetting that despite what I think is good and desirable, I still may not receive an internship. God isn’t even in this picture, because I think I’ve got it handled. Reading Prov. 3:5-7 has been a huge wake up call, reminding me that instead of putting all my trust in what I think is good for my future, I need to trust in the God who holds the future, who sees it and will “work for the good of those who love Him” (Romans 8:28), and whether that “good” means internship or not, I need to trust that that is what He has planned for me.
“In all your ways acknowledge Him” – God is the one who has provided me with the ins to these volunteering gigs. There is one verse that continues to stick out in my memory, along with these ones:
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. – Prov. 1:7
What is the “fear of the Lord”? A proper reverence for Him who is holy. Reverence which leads to the desire to know Him more and more, and as you come to know Him more, you will trust Him more, with all aspects of your life, because you know that He is good, and that “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” (James 1:17). I know that I can trust in the One Person who will never change, while everything else on Earth changes; He is my comfort and my strength.
When I read what I wrote a couple posts back in the “Sometimes” post, I am ashamed. It screams a lack of faith and patience in the God who provides. And, though I have sinned against Him by not putting my trust in Him and Him alone, by God’s grace He has chosen to reveal His Word to me today through Proverbs, rebuking me for my pride and reminding me that He still cares about me and has my future under control. How gracious and merciful You are, O Lord.