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rants, 'cause everyone's entitled to those

why?

<rant>

did God lead me to choose Guelph for nutrition? I could’ve gone to McGill.. should’ve gone to McGill, because their program offers a guaranteed internship whereas Guelph and UA only offer competitive ones. Even got offered a scholarship to McGill (although Guelph offered me a bigger one). I didn’t know just how competitive internship positions are. If I had known back then, I’d have chosen McGill in a heartbeat.

More and more, as graduation rears its (dreaded) head, I come to realize how uncertain my future is with the program I’ve chosen. Its not exactly the broadest degree in terms of career choice. There’s only so much you can do with it. When I was a naive little high schooler, I had no idea (how could I have?) of the consequences of school choice and what it would do to push me into (or not) into the career I want.

I chose Guelph on the recommendation of ONE person.. albeit a person I highly respected and still do.. I knew absolutely NOTHING about Guelph, not even the existence of the school until she told me about it. She told me glowing things about the school – how great the campus and learning environment is and such, and gave utterly dismal remarks about McGill – how snobby the people and professors are because they attended/taught at a prestigious school. That alone put my mind toward Guelph as my first choice. Because I was a naive and trusting girl (and, I’ll admit, lazy), I didn’t bother to research the two schools and compare their programs and what they offered. Had I actually read into the program descriptions (that I just read right now for the first time), I’d definitely have considered McGill much more seriously. McGill’s program is 3.5 years with a guaranteed internship after that, which then leads to being able to write the exam to become a Registered Dietitian, and then with a professional title, easier to choose career path.. well more options anyway.

Not to say that I regret choosing Guelph and meeting the people I have, learning more about life and being changed for the better. But I guess as hard choices are looming ever closer, I’m starting to panic. What am I going to do after I graduate? My choices are to land an internship (difficult), or to get into the Masters of Nutrition program at Guelph (equally, if not more, difficult). (Glo suggested that I take a year off to travel after grad… if only I had the money to do that… but eventually I’d still have to face real life). And then theres that other hard choice. To stay in Toronto for the sake of my relationship, or go home to Calgary (easier on the bank account.. and well, its home still no matter what I may say).

How do you choose between those?!??!?!?? I feel so overwhelmed by this, and its not even 4th year yet. I feel like I’ve made the wrong choice in coming to Guelph, at least in the career sense. But in all other ways, I don’t regret it at all. Real life demands career choices though. Wth do I do?! Sometimes, I think being single is so much easier (again, not regretting anything that has happened or wishing that I was). I’d just move back to Calgary after my 4 years here and look to start my career from all the benefits of home. I used to be so carefree about the whole finding jobs/volunteering in positions that will give me more of a shot at an internship position… now its a whole other ball game.

This whole facing up to real adult life and having to make these kinds of choices is NOT amusing.

PS. I know I’m going to be told to “just trust God with His plans for you” but honestly right now, its so hard not to be freaked out.

</rant>

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